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  • What is a Divorce Mediator?
    A mediator is a neutral, third-party professional who keeps spouses focused on the goal of a fair outcome, not battling over past resentments. Divorce mediation is a method of "alternative dispute resolution" (ADR). Its purpose is to help couples settle their issues without lengthy and costly court battles.
  • Why would I choose Mediation rather than just filing for divorce?
    If you decide to hire attorneys and head straight to court, be aware that many courts will still require divorcing couples to try mediation while the divorce is pending—especially when there are child custody and parenting time issues to be resolved. Private mediation, on the other hand, is voluntary. You and your spouse can decide to mediate at any time before or after you file for divorce. Although there is a cost to private mediation, it's often not only more successful than court-ordered mediation, but also less expensive than the court process as a whole. By mediating, there's a great chance you'll save money by avoiding the attorneys' fees and court costs associated with hashing things out in court. Even in higher conflict cases, mediation is often the most successful approach because it allows you both to remain in control over the important decisions affecting you and your children, and can help you discover unique and appropriate ways to resolve areas of disagreement and interpersonal conflict. Ways that may get missed in the adversarial approach of hiring attorneys to fight it out for you. There is also a greater likelihood that the terms of agreements reached in mediation will be honored in the future. Mediation, generally speaking, brings a reduction in hostility between participants, meaning there is less trauma for them and their children. Mediators often enjoy working to assist people in growing in their ability to advocate well for themselves through divorce by learning to listen for understanding, to competently articulate and provide for each person's unique needs.
  • What is the difference between a Divorce Mediator and a Divorce Coach?
    A Mediator is a neutral third-party who works with both spouses to facilitate more productive conversations to move through divorce more positively and productively. A Coach more often works with only one spouse when the other spouse is unwilling to collaborate.
  • What is a Divorce Coach?
    A Certified Divorce Coach is an objective professional, trained to listen, encourage, support, motivate and inspire people at any stage of the divorce process to acknowledge and understand their emotions, values, and priorities so that they can move forward in the most productive and least costly way possible. The American Bar Association recognizes and supports Divorce Coaching as a dispute resolution process, defining it as “a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns.”
  • Why hire a Divorce Coach?
    There's no easy way to say it. Because doing divorce alone sucks. With a Certified Divorce Coach journeying together with you, it won't matter if you are still deciding, in the middle of the mess, or trying to rebuild after. We start where you are, and discover the actions and beliefs that you need to adopt to get you where you want to be. BEFORE You may be considering divorce for a variety of reasons but feel fearful and uncertain, or perhaps the financial aspects seem daunting. You may have decided to get divorced and don’t know where to begin. DURING You may be in the process of divorce and suffering. When you work with me through the divorce, these are some of the ways that I can help you to have a better experience: Understand the process--most people getting divorced have never done it before. That puts you at a disadvantage in negotiating the settlement you need. Make choices about the way to get divorced that works best for you--there are options! Litigation, mediation, collaboration and DIY. Pros and cons to each! Find the right attorney, financial planner, and/or other professional of integrity so you have the resources you need to meet your every changing need. Get organized and clear on your direction to work more efficiently with your attorney. Facilitate the shift from emotional to critical thinking so you make fully informed decisions you won't regret. Avoid the most commonly made mistakes in divorce. Set goals and make an action plan. Reduce expenses associated with your divorce, including attorney's fees. Decrease conflict by working through best communication practices with your spouse, especially in co-parenting and property division. Work through what has got you stuck, sad, angry or frozen in fear. Find your voice and learn to advocate well for yourself as you negotiate what you need from the divorce. AFTER 1. Visualize the new you. 2. Plan the actions and beliefs you need to adopt in order to arrive where you want to be. 3. Understand how your thought life affects everything. 4. Keep taking the next best step for your life.
  • How is a Coach different from a Therapist?
    Therapy, also known as counseling, tends to focus on your childhood, past traumatic events, behaviors, and perceptions to help you understand how you got where you are, which presumably is not where you wanted to be. Reflecting, diagnosing, learning. Divorce Coaching is a pivot forward. We start where you are and put a plan of action together to get you to where you want to be. I will help you to clarify your vision for your future, identify any obstacles, and listen closely to what you are and are not saying. With coaching suppport, you will set goals and feel empowered to and in control of your emotions so you can make the decisions you need to achieve your desired outcomes.
  • Will a Coach make my Divorce more expensive?
    Money is frequently a critical issue in divorce. A Divorce Coach costs significantly less than an attorney and provides supportive services that, in general, attorneys are not skilled or interested in providing. I have worked with attorneys who say, “I need my clients to know… is this a call for my Attorney, my Financial Advisor, or my Divorce Coach?” Coaching offers you the greatest opportunity for a positive and affordable divorce. Clients who work with a Divorce Coach, especially in higher conflict cases, have a better chance of getting the outcome they desire with less stress and less money spent overall.
  • What topics are typically discussed in Coaching Sessions?
    Should I stay or go? What’s the list of key decisions I need to prepare for? How do I work through the overwhelming financial information and discovery? How do we (I) tell the kids? How to handle new social situations? How to handle the holidays…either with kids or alone for the first time. What are the top mistakes I should avoid during divorce? Co-parenting tips during divorce Communication strategies in high-conflict divorce Minimizing impact on the kids’ well-being How to maintain my emotional and physical health at this stressful time? How will I make it through this? Should I give up the home I raised my family in… how do I do that? When is the right time to start to date and how do I make wise decisions to attract a partner that I am highly compatible with? How to build a great life moving forward!
  • Do you provide Coaching to both men and women??
    I coach whoever needs support. I have male and female clients. Generally, whoever feels they need additional support will hire me. In some scenarios, one party is ready to divorce and the other is not yet prepared to make that decision. In these cases, I sometimes coach both parties for a short time to try to assist both in arriving at a place of understanding about the direction they will take forward, whether that is to find a new path to healing the marriage or if that is to accept that the marriage is irretrievably broken and divorce is the answer.
  • How can a Divorce Coach help?
    Avoid the most commonly made mistakes Move past the emotions, overwhelm, and fear to make good decisions for you and your family Get organized for the process Find professional resources Save money by working more effectively with your attorney Communicate and co-parent with greater ease Help you to uncover your best decisions, best self, and help you move forward to your newly defined best life!
  • Can you be my Coach if I don't live near you?
    Yes. I am able to be your coach wherever you are. I coach my clients over the phone or via video conferencing tools like Zoom. If you live in the KC area, I am available to meet with you in-person if that is preferred and my schedule allows time for travel.
  • What if I'm not sure I want to get divorced?
    That’s a great time to begin working with a coach. It’s very common that my clients meet me for the first time before they have decided to get divorced. Together we can explore the options of how to repair your marriage to stay; how to decide if the marriage is to good to leave or too bad to stay; how to prepare to leave with a plan, or how to begin the divorce process. Working with a coach before you talk with your spouse can ensure that you are prepared and have set yourself up for the best possible way forward. It’s important that this is a well thought out process, not an emotional outburst you may later regret.
  • If I hire a Coach or Mediator, do I still need a Divorce Attorney?
    Yes! A Coach/Mediator is NOT a legal professional. Acting as either, I cannot and do not provide legal advice or guidance. I help you understand the divorce process and the possible outcomes of the different options before you. I prepare you for the conversations you will need to have with attorneys, financial advisors, mortgage professionals, and more. I also provide you with resources and recommendations to decide what is the best divorce approach for you. If you and your spouse can come to an agreement to work together to save time, money and stress, consider Mediation. If you and your spouse are NOT in agreement with taking a non-adversarial route, I am happy to Coach you to overcome the obstacles this path is likely to present. Coaching and Mediation are both more supported, more affordable and often more expedient processes than the attorney vs. attorney approach many of your friends may have endured.
  • What days are you available for appointments?
    Coaching and mediation session can be booked Monday thru Friday. Some Saturdays by request. I do not work on Sundays. When you press on any of the scheduling buttons on the Coaching or Mediation pages, you will be directed to my calendar with the available times for these services at your fingertips. I recommend booking at least one week in advance for mediation so you and your spouse have time to adequately prepare. I will provide you via email with materials to assist in your preparation when a mediation is booked.
  • What are the costs involved?
    Prices are listed beside each available service on the Divorce Mediation and Divorce Coaching pages.
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