What is a Divorce Coach?


A Certified Divorce Coach is an objective professional, trained to listen, encourage, support, motivate and inspire people at any stage of the divorce process to acknowledge and understand their emotions, values, and priorities so that they can move forward in the most productive and least costly way possible. The American Bar Association recognizes and supports Divorce Coaching as a dispute resolution process, defining it as “a flexible, goal-oriented process designed to support, motivate, and guide people going through divorce to help them make the best possible decisions for their future, based on their particular interests, needs, and concerns.”




How can a Divorce Coach help?


  • Avoid the most commonly made mistakes
  • Move past the emotions, overwhelm, and fear to make good decisions for you and your family
  • Get organized for the process
  • Find professional resources
  • Save money by working more effectively with your attorney
  • Communicate and co-parent with greater ease
  • Help you to uncover your best decisions, best self, and help you move forward to your newly defined best life!




Why hire a Divorce Coach?


There's no easy way to say it. Because doing divorce alone sucks. With a Certified Divorce Coach journeying together with you, it won't matter if you are still deciding, in the middle of the mess, or trying to rebuild after. We start where you are, and discover the actions and beliefs that you need to adopt to get you where you want to be. BEFORE You may be considering divorce for a variety of reasons but feel fearful and uncertain, or perhaps the financial aspects seem daunting. You may have decided to get divorced and don’t know where to begin. DURING You may be in the process of divorce and suffering. When you work with me through the divorce, these are some of the ways that I can help you to have a better experience:

  • Understand the process--most people getting divorced have never done it before. That puts you at a disadvantage in negotiating the settlement you need.
  • Make choices about the way to get divorced that works best for you--there are options! Litigation, mediation, collaboration and DIY. Pros and cons to each!
  • Find the right attorney, financial planner, and/or other professional of integrity so you have the resources you need to meet your every changing need.
  • Get organized and clear on your direction to work more efficiently with your attorney.
  • Facilitate the shift from emotional to critical thinking so you make fully informed decisions you won't regret.
  • Avoid the most commonly made mistakes in divorce.
  • Set goals and make an action plan.
  • Reduce expenses associated with your divorce, including attorney's fees.
  • Decrease conflict by working through best communication practices with your spouse, especially in co-parenting and property division.
  • Work through what has got you stuck, sad, angry or frozen in fear.
  • Find your voice and learn to advocate well for yourself as you negotiate what you need from the divorce.
AFTER
1. Visualize the new you. 2. Plan the actions and beliefs you need to adopt in order to arrive where you want to be. 3. Understand how your thought life affects everything. 4. Keep taking the next best step for your life.




What topics are typically discussed in Coaching Sessions?


  • Should I stay or go?
  • What’s the list of key decisions I need to prepare for?
  • How do I work through the overwhelming financial information and discovery?
  • How do we (I) tell the kids?
  • How to handle new social situations?
  • How to handle the holidays…either with kids or alone for the first time.
  • What are the top mistakes I should avoid during divorce?
  • Co-parenting tips during divorce
  • Communication strategies in high-conflict divorce
  • Minimizing impact on the kids’ well-being
  • How to maintain my emotional and physical health at this stressful time?
  • How will I make it through this?
  • Should I give up the home I raised my family in… how do I do that?
  • When is the right time to start to date and how do I make wise decisions to attract a partner that I am highly compatible with?
  • How to build a great life moving forward!




What if I'm not sure I want to get divorced?


That’s a great time to begin working with a coach. It’s very common that my clients meet me for the first time before they have decided to get divorced. Together we can explore the options of how to repair your marriage to stay; how to decide if the marriage is to good to leave or too bad to stay; how to prepare to leave with a plan, or how to begin the divorce process. Working with a coach before you talk with your spouse can ensure that you are prepared and have set yourself up for the best possible way forward. It’s important that this is a well thought out process, not an emotional outburst you may later regret.




How is a Coach different from a Therapist?


Therapy, also known as counseling, tends to focus on your childhood, past traumatic events, behaviors, and perceptions to help you understand how you got where you are, which presumably is not where you wanted to be. Reflecting, diagnosing, learning. Divorce Coaching is a pivot forward. We start where you are and put a plan of action together to get you to where you want to be. I will help you to clarify your vision for your future, identify any obstacles, and listen closely to what you are and are not saying. With coaching suppport, you will set goals and feel empowered to and in control of your emotions so you can make the decisions you need to achieve your desired outcomes.




Will a Coach make my Divorce more expensive?


Money is frequently a critical issue in divorce. A Divorce Coach costs significantly less than an attorney and provides a complementary service to the client. I have worked with several attorneys who say, “I need my clients to know… is this a call for my Attorney, my Financial Advisor, or my Divorce Coach?” Attorneys offer this to maximize the possibility of the most positive and minimally costly divorce process and to enable questions or problems to be resolved by the appropriate professional. Clients who work with a Divorce Coach have a better chance of getting the outcome they desire with less stress and less money spent.




If I hire you, do I still need a Divorce Attorney?


YES! I am not an attorney. I cannot and do not provide any legal advice or guidance. I prep you for the conversations you will need to have with a Family Law Attorney in your area. Can you DIY your divorce? Yes, but it is rarely a recommended practice. Ask me why. Consider the Collaborative Divorce Process if you and your spouse are in agreement with taking a non-litigous route that involves two attorneys, a financial neutral, a therapist and a coach all working together to bring peacable and expedient closure to the process. As your Coach, I am happy to provide you with resources to decide if traditional legal representation, DIY or Collaborative divorce is right for you.




Do you provide Coaching to both men and women??


I coach whoever needs support. I have male and female clients. Generally, whoever feels they need additional support will hire me. I am not currently coaching couples.




What happens in the 30 minute Discovery Call?


During your Discovery Call, you will be given the opportunity to summarize your current status with regard to the marriage and divorce. After listening to understand your key concerns, I will offer suggestions for how I believe Divorce Coaching would serve you in alleviating those concerns. If we agree that we are a good fit, you can schedule your first appointment and get started right away to a better divorce experience than you might have imagined. The $25 Discovery Call fee is simply to insure we both prioritize this time of connection. If you decide to work with me, I will give you a coupon code to apply that full amount to your first payment.




Can you be my Coach if I don't live near you?


Yes. I am able to be your coach wherever you are. I coach my clients over the phone or via video conferencing tools like Zoom. If you live in the KC area, I am available to meet with you in-person if that is preferred and my schedule allows time for travel.




What do Coaching sessions cost?


Visit the Coaching page to learn more about private coaching packages that range from $295-495/month depending on session frequency. Single sessions are $150/hour. Group coaching is also an option. Visit the Groups page for more information on those options.




What days are you available for appointments?


Appointments are available Monday thru Friday. Saturdays by request. I do not work on Sundays. When you press on any of the scheduling buttons throughout the site, you will be directed to my calendar with available times at your fingertips. If you aren't able to find a time there that works for you, please email me at Annie@StartingOverStronger.com. I will find time for you!