No Longer Identifying as a Victim
by Annie Allen, Certified Life Transition and Divorce Coach
Empowerment is one of those words that comes preloaded with all kinds of stereotypes and preconceived notions, yet it simply means we are no longer identifying as a victim. And everything I share and each person I interview, I have that ONE GOAL in mind – to EMPOWER you to stop believing you are a victim so you can create the life you can only create IF you believe you can. In Episode 97 of the Starting Over Stronger Podcast, I am sharing the method I used to change everything that had kept me feeling stuck my whole life.
It’s called TED—The Empowerment Dynamic and its' creator is David Emerald.
The first thing I will tell you about TED is that you can learn it super easily for yourself in a tiny little book called The Power of TED by David Emerald. I hope once you hear my overview of this concept today, I think you will want to run out or jump online and buy it immediately.
From my perspective, TED has the power to change your life. The reason it harnesses that much power is because it awakens you to YOUR POWER. The shift from victim to creator that TED teaches may well be the most important shift you ever make in your life.
As I share this pattern, you will come to understand just how simple it can be for you to think differently in every difficult situation you face and thinking differently is the first step in choosing differently.
In a brief overview of The Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic", Author David Emerald says, “Since time immemorial, the default orientation of humanity has been that of Victim. Living in an often hostile and dangerous world, human beings honed the fight, flight, or freeze reaction to life experience.” Emerald goes on to explain that it was in the late 1960s, that a psychiatrist, Dr. Stephen Karpman, MD, identified the basic structure of human dynamics in this Victim Orientation as involving three roles: Victim; Persecutor and Rescuer.
You may want to write down those three roles. They are the 3 key roles you will have to think about over and over again as you unwind the drama in your own life. Every time there is a situation, you are going to naturally identify as one of those three roles. Often, as victim, when it comes to the situations and circumstances we dislike in our lives. You will also likely be able to identify, if you try, who is playing the other two roles. Everyone is playing one of those 3 key roles in every disagreement: Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer. Sometimes the Rescuer or Persecutor is a situation, not a person. Often it can be both.
The Power of TED is going to offer you 3 DIFFERENT EMPOWERED KEY ROLES you can play that are replacements for being a Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer. So now each time you face a difficult situation, you can see which old role you were about to play, and choose instead to be a CREATOR instead of a victim, your persecutors become your CHALLENGERS and rescuers are reframed as COACHES.
As Emerald says, “The Empowerment Dynamic (TED) points the way for stepping into new roles that offer a life of purpose, power, and compassion toward self and others because TED is rooted in a Creator Orientation toward work and life.
Tune in this week to learn more about empowerment for change utilizing this valuable mindset.