Keep Writing Your Faith Story-Even When the Church Fails You

Annie Allen, Certified Life Transition and Divorce Coach


Have you lost your faith through everything you've endured in your broken marriage? Felt betrayed by the church or the people in it because they judged your decision to divorce or perpetuated years of abuse by believing the lies of your abuser and putting the marriage covenant above your well-being?


You are not alone, my friend.


Sometimes it is hard to imagine a life of faith after a church (or someone protected by one) wounds you that deeply, but the truth is that God is on the side of good, not evil. He loves you and it was never his intention that the church would ordain sin, excuse wrongdoing or protect wolves in sheep's clothing.


I believe that what wounds us also grieves the heart of our Creator as well. So it is my hope and prayer that those who are wounded deeply by the actions of a pastor or church, or anyone within the church, would learn how to separate God and the church. I want everyone to be able to keep writing their faith story, even when what has happened in church has us questioning everything we have ever known or believed.


Maybe you, like me once, are asking questions like:


  • Does marriage matter more to God than the people in that marriage?

  • When does the teachings of a church leave the realm of Biblical interpretation and enter into a pastor’s opinion?

  • How would I know if that was happening in my church, to me?

  • Why is my personal relationship with Christ being interpreted for me rather than me reading the Word as my personal love letter from God?

  • Does my church hand my abuser new weapons every week to perpetuate the emotional, psychological or financial abuse I am being subjected to, leaving me feeling as much or more trapped and victimized by the church as by my abusive spouse?

These are just a few of the faith-based questions I work through with my coaching clients. They are deeply painful questions, and I can truly relate to the many people with questions like these who walk away from the church, and even from God, for the rest of their lives. It is the deepest form of betrayal. But I want better for you! I want you to keep writing your faith story in spite of it all... and I know you can, because I did. And so many of my clients have and are.


On Episode 96 of the Starting Over Stronger Podcast, Trauma-Informed Story Coach, Marcy Pusey, and I are talking about this important topic! I hope you will tune in to hear Marcy's pivotal story of betrayal not only by the man who promised to love and protect her, but instead abused and exploited her love, and how she has kept writing her faith story even when he and the church failed her in deeply painful ways as she awakened to the reality of her abusive marriage.


Join the Starting Over Stronger After Divorce Facebook Group to share your story and follow others who are facing the same struggles through their own divorce stories. You'll find help and hope here!



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