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Finding your New Identity through Divorce

Updated: Dec 6, 2021

Certified Divorce and Life Transition Coach, Annie Allen speaks with Author Rebecca Thesman

What do you consider to be the core of your identity? What are the things that make you YOU? The roles we play in life: mom, wife, sister, friend, co-worker are certainly a part of that. Your personality is another big part of it. How people describe you. Oh, she is so sweet. She’s a wallflower. She’s a shrinking violet. She is unapproachable, intimidating. She is such a driven woman. What about the very name by which people call you? Your first and last name tell us something about you, right? There are dozens of aspects to WHO WE ARE…and arguably, divorce can change them all. No wonder we feel so disoriented.

You’re not the same person today that you were when you walked that aisle… and you won’t be the same person in a year or five years that you are today! Not being entirely sure who you are at this point is TOTALLY NORMAL and today, we are going to have a casual and encouraging conversation about why that is a very good thing.

Author & Writing Coach, Rebecca Thesman joins me on the show to talk about the many different aspects of the re-identification process as one goes through a major change like divorce: emotional, vocational, physical, mental, financial, and more.

We talked about how we need to allow time for our brains to recalibrate. And we touched on how name changes, career changes, and role changes like “empty nest” factor in. We talked about how many people lose or gain weight, go through therapy or coaching to address mindset issues, and rediscover their spirituality.

One of the most important aspects we discussed was that of Acceptance – of our past, our present and our future—with the understanding that acceptance is much more freeing and important than forgiveness.

What are some of the important ways you have created or are creating your new identity during divorce?

Tune in for the whole conversation here:

If you are ready for more support, jump on to join an evening or lunchtime support group, check out the FAQs if you have questions and then email me at if I can answer any other questions for you. We are here for you for Help as you divorce and Hope as you are Starting Over Stronger!


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