Annie Allen, Certified Divorce and Life Transition Coach®
Today, with my guest Katherine Miller we are going to help couples divorce with dignity. I will be asking Katherine a series of questions about ways that people can approach the dissolution of marriage with dignity for their unique set of circumstances.
First, we dig into “SEPARATION v. DIVORCE.”
For some people, separation is being considered because they are on the fence or fearful about divorce. Others are viewing separation as a permanent alternative to divorce. And while separation can be a temporary solution to buy time before a permanent decision must be made, we are going to address some of the confusion around the definition of separation in its various forms: trial, in-home, legal and even permanent separation.
We also delved into the motivation for separation as an important consideration. Certainly, if reconciliation remains a possibility, separation can be the most affordable and amicable way to discover the feasibility of staying married in a healthy way. It allows you to take small steps toward your ultimate decision whether that is reconciliation or an eventual divorce. Separation will allow for the space to interact without as much constant stress or as many arguments. It should give you the chance to figure out why you haven’t been getting along and what you can do about it and to take the steps that ultimately will either revive the marriage or make it clear once and for all that it is irretrievably broken.
Others may have considered or even tried separation but have come to realize that divorce is actually a better solution. So for those who have ruled out separation, Katherine and I explored ways to approach divorce. We offered a general overview of these four legal divorce processes:
· DIY
· Collaboration
· Mediation
· Litigation
We also discussed one of the principles of the collaborative method which is the concept that a “good” divorce often requires a TEAM approach of varied professionals working well together. This is a concept that in and of itself, I believe, could change divorce as we know it, even in the worlds of mediation and litigation. We encouraged people to look into engaging a divorce coach as order #1 of business. A trained and qualified coach helps you build your team, starting with mindful attorney selection and then as needed connects you with a financial advisor, therapist, and any other professionals that your case’s unique nuances may need or benefit from.
If you are currently feeling the whole “I think want a divorce! Now what!?” feeling, tune in. You will learn so much.
~Annie